You will never be everyone’s cup of tea… and that’s okay.
Growing up I was slightly obsessed with wanting everyone to like me and I hated it if there was a hint that someone didn’t like me. Back then it was easier in a way than now though, as for teenagers today there isn’t usually a doubt over whether someone likes you or not.
It is so much easier to tell when someone doesn’t like you, mostly because they either won’t follow them back on social media, they block them on social media or worse they tell everyone on social media about how much they don’t like them. Teenagers today seem to be a lot more brutal in their showing of dislike for someone and I can just imagine how soul crushing that can feel for the Teen on the receiving side of it.
I keep seeing fellow parents online saying that their child has had horrible videos, memes etc made of them and shared across social media. I see reports of cyber bullying, where the children doing the bullying sometimes don’t have a clue that what they are doing is bullying, they think they’re just being ‘honest’ or funny. Although of course you do get the ones who are just a bit vile or immature or both, who do revel in what they do to others.
And of course it isn’t just the teenagers who are cruel to each other online, plenty of adults set a ‘great’ example to them by being trolls or making negative unkind personal comments about others online.
If you are one of the people being cruel to others online or in real life, it is NOT okay. It is okay not to like everyone you meet in life, that’s natural, but it is not okay to purposefully bully and hurt people.
If you’re being affected by it yourself, don’t let it change you, don’t let them make you feel unimportant or worthless. Just because someone doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be liked or that there is anything wrong with you. Anyone who gains satisfaction out of putting others down or being cruel, isn’t someone that you want to be your friend or that you should worry about liking you.
When I was younger I made the mistake of not only hating when someone disliked me, but of trying to make everyone like me. I would agree with something the person said even if my opinion was different, as I was afraid that a different opinion might make them not like me. I would try to like the things that other people liked, just to not feel left out.
I even behaved differently around different people, that’s how desperate I was to fit in with whoever I was spending time with. I tried to be who they wanted me to be, this was even with boyfriends when I was a lot younger.
All it led to was me being friends with people who made me feel bad about myself, it led to relationships not working out as it wasn’t really me that they liked, it was the ‘me’ that I had shown them. It also led to me disliking myself far more than they ever would have for not agreeing with them and not being like them.
You can’t be friends or in a relationship long-term like that, it drains you, it makes you feel less of a person and it definitely doesn’t make you happy.
As you go through life, there will always be people who dislike you, deserved or not it will happen. The key is to realise that it is okay not to be liked, there is no way that anyone is ever 100% liked. You just need to move on and find the people who do like you and who more importantly you like!
You will never be everyone’s cup of tea and that IS okay.