Ten Rules of Primary School Parking

The Ten ‘rules’ of primary school parking. Obviously tongue in cheek, although I suspect some parents believe these to be true rules…. AKA How to be a parking pain in the bum.


Ten Rules of Primary School Parking



You must arrive at least half an hour before you are supposed to start queuing. Just so that you can block the road for other road users and any poor soul trying to pick their child up early for the dentist. Whilst waiting look completely fascinated in the contents of your glove box/magazine/mobile phone to avoid eye contact.



Always park so tightly to the car next to you, that you have to climb over the passenger seat to exit your car. Honestly it’s fine, they can just pop any children or babiesĀ in to their car seats via the sunroof. No sunroof?, well they have a boot…



You really must drive so far up the bum of the car in front that they have zero chance of reversing in to a space and drive in to the space instead out of exasperation.



Whatever you do, do not let that person reverse their car out of their space – just keep driving past them. I mean really how stupid are they, not to reverse park at a school….



Beep your horn at any one who dares to stop to let a family cross the road or car park.



Always wear sunglasses, that way you can pretend not to see or be aware of anyone who may be trying to get you to give way, or anyone whose space you have just stolen.



A wave of the hand in a flustered, oh sorry was this your space?/ oh I almost ran over your child?/ oh I cut you up? way, excuses all evils.



If you see a friend on the way out of school, it is completely acceptable to stop for a chat whilst blocking the whole car park and causing a tail back on the road beside you.



Always park in the space that blocks other cars in and then have a wander around the playground chatting to the other Mums. In fact why not stand next to your car having a chat, the cars behind will love you for it.



After doing all of the above, definitely do this last one. Grumble loudly about all those awful drivers in the school car park. How impatient they are, how they can’t park and how awful the traffic has been recently.


Do people at your school follow these rules? I blame about a third of the grey hairs on my head on the rule followers at our own primary school ;)


Stevie x

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  1. 14 September 2016 / 2:29 pm

    Haha oh dear!! Did you write this while you were blocked in outside school by any chance?? I’ve not had any disasters yet but have noticed a couple of people parked like complete wallys. Plus someone tried to get into my car yesterday thinking it was his. He’s lucky I was stood right next to it and I told him, I hadn’t even locked it so he’d have been really embarrassed if he’d ended up sitting in it!

    • 14 September 2016 / 2:33 pm

      Ha ha ha ha that’s hilarious!! Our primary school is a nightmare parking wise, it can take me 20 minutes to get from the top of the road in to the school and another 15 minutes + to get back out. I spend most of my school run ranting…. small person angry syndrome and all that ;)

      Stevie x

  2. 14 September 2016 / 2:45 pm

    I read this in the car to pass time because I’m half an early just so I could get a parking spot!

    • 14 September 2016 / 5:49 pm

      No comment ha! ;) Honestly though our school, the earliest any child comes out is 3pm…. I’ve been there at 2pm to pick up for the dentist and there has been people waiting in there car.

      Stevie x

  3. 14 September 2016 / 7:36 pm

    I am so glad I don’t drive….I’ve seen the cars outside of the school and they are ridiculous!

    • 16 September 2016 / 9:26 am

      Ha there is something about a school car park that sends some a bit feral ;) One more year and no more school car parks for me as there is a really easy to use drop off point at the secondary school :)

      Stevie x

  4. 16 September 2016 / 7:18 am

    Oh gods, this already happens at our nursery (there is a tiny 8 space car park, we have one mum who drives a giant jeep and likes to park in the middle of two spaces if she can get away with it, grrr….) I dread the school car parking issues! x #picnmix

    • 16 September 2016 / 9:20 am

      Ha I almost added buy a car WAY too huge for you that you can hardly see over the steering wheel in and then park it sideways across 3 spaces ;)

      Stevie x

  5. 16 September 2016 / 7:34 am

    This made me laugh. Sadly these rules are also applied to supermarket parking, the car-park at the cinema, the swimming pool, the road outside my local shop and even the petrol station where I’ve seen people stop and have a chat regardless of the queue for the pumps (aka as rule 8).

    • 16 September 2016 / 9:16 am

      I have to admit that driving and parking get me a bit sweary as I get so impatient with people, not that I show it of course

      Stevie x

  6. Cheryl @ ReimerandRuby
    16 September 2016 / 8:03 am

    So funny… just as well I just walk up to school with my kids, I know how stressful looking for parking space can be. #PicknMix

    • 16 September 2016 / 9:15 am

      It’s my own fault for moving to the other side of town so we couldn’t walk there any more ;)

      Stevie x

  7. 16 September 2016 / 8:55 am

    My children aren’t yet at primary school age, but when I drive past our local school every one of these points is being put into practice!


  8. 16 September 2016 / 9:41 am

    Oh dear, this sounds rather familiar! We try to walk most days but when the weather’s bad we take the car. Definitely have seen lots of number 1 going on and a few driveways blocked by people thinking “oh I’ll only be five minutes” when they actually take more like 30.

    • 16 September 2016 / 9:46 am

      I wish we lived close enough to walk, thankfully the secondary school is close enough for them to walk home next year when they’re both going there ;)

      Stevie x

  9. 16 September 2016 / 1:15 pm

    haha I love number 7! Glad we’ve got a good few years before this is an issue for us #picknmix

  10. 16 September 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Haha oh dear….I luckily don’t have to go through this right now but will get myself prepared! #picknmix

  11. 16 September 2016 / 3:05 pm

    Hee hee…feel better now? Blogging can be a brilliant outlet for your frustration, like free therapy! We have a ‘Park & Stroll’ arrangement with the local Tesco (5min walk) and the same people still insist on getting there early every day so they can park directly outside the school gate. We’re trying to be good this term now Flump is 5 and up to the walk from our house (about 25mins) which both ways doubles up as my exercise for the day – win win :) Have to say, today was definitely a car day though – absolutely hammered it down all morning. Poor lollypop lady. #picknmix

  12. 16 September 2016 / 4:29 pm

    Ha ha i have no option but drive to school as ours is down a very narrow road and tiny car park. i dread meeting the school bus as its reverse all the way back yuck #picknmix

  13. 16 September 2016 / 4:41 pm

    Hehe this is amazing! It is just like this at preschool too. I think I will try to get into a school that I can either take the bus too or walk! #picknmix

  14. 16 September 2016 / 7:57 pm

    Haha this made me laugh, I can relate to all of it! Not because I drive to school, but because we live just yards from the school and every morning people park outside of my house, blocking my drive, and sit there in their big sunglasses pretending to be oblivious when I am shooting daggers in their direction! #picknmix

  15. 16 September 2016 / 8:04 pm

    Ha ha love this & all true! I used curse so much!! used to drive & drop the girls off so I was that little bit closer to work but it took forever to find a space & then get out. Soon stopped &!started walking the 10 minutes from, it worked out about the same!! #PicknMix

  16. 17 September 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Ha ha, this is great. I’m lucky that we can walk to school but I have witnessed a fair few of these fantastic parking skills. One of the best is to park right on the corner so that the school bus can’t get round and has to wait there, blocking the road and causing a huge tailback, until you have picked up your child (after talking to everyone in the playground of course).

  17. 18 September 2016 / 8:52 pm

    argghhh im not a school mum yet hehe but they school near us…grrr don’t get me started on those parents haha! they do my blinking head in when I work from home and have to drive back through our estate. double parking, pulling out, all in a rush. so am I ! grrrrr :) #picknmix

  18. 21 September 2016 / 11:28 am

    Ahh sounds like hell! I’m so glad the school Leo will be going to is within walking distance!xx #picknmix

  19. 21 September 2016 / 9:21 pm

    We live opposite a large Secondary School now and if I time it wrong I have to get passed that traffic, annoying people and then get to the boys School and have to repeat it with even less patience. xx

  20. 22 September 2016 / 12:02 am

    Haha – my mum was an infant school head before retirement and the driving and parking of the parents at her school caused so many problems! It was in a small village and the road was narrow and crowded. And it wasn’t helped by it being the kind of area where all the mums drove SUVs to take one child to a school 0.2 miles from their house. #picknmix

  21. 22 September 2016 / 5:14 pm

    Very good! I do the school run on foot but see all of this going on – rather you than me! #picknmix

  22. 23 September 2016 / 9:11 pm

    Monkey has just started school and this had me in stitches because I think I gave pretty much experienced all of these in one short week. Only it will be me doing number 10 as I had to reverse to get Kipper back in the car…. Lol thanks for hosting #picknmix