Two of the Scariest Moments of My Life


Two of the scariest moments in my life have involved taking my eldest son home.


Baby feet stock image

*Pixabay stock image*


The first time was when I brought my biggest boy home from hospital for the first time after he was born. I had no real idea of what I was doing, I was in a lot of pain and although so happy and instantly in love with my little noisy bundle – I was petrified.


My times of cuddling my baby niece and handing her back to be changed or fed, didn’t really equip me to know what to do with a newborn. I had no idea what I was doing. In the hospital I was left to it and on my own.


I sat my baby up and holding him with one arm leaned over for something .. he lurched sideways and although he wasn’t actually that close to the edge of the bed – I felt a bit sick thinking what could have happened if I had been holding him much closer to the side of the bed. It hit me just how fragile he was. He was fine, but 21-year-old me wondered if I was in over my head.


I totally was ha, but in the best possible way. My biggest boy taught me how to be a Mum. We cried together, but we also laughed so much together and still do. I pretty much grew up with him, he changed me so much as a person – hopefully all for the good!


His brother arriving after that was pretty much a breeze – apart from the very painful labour that is.


The other time of bringing my son home that scared me so much was the day we left the hospital after he had been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 8 years ago. We were in there for 5 days and afterwards coming home felt surreal and once again I had no real idea of what I was doing.


He felt so fragile to me again and he was. He’d almost died and we had to settle into a new way of life. Once again though we did it together and we got through the tough times. We cried together, we tried to be strong together and in the end we laughed together again.


My ‘fragile’ son is now almost as tall as me and he has proved that he is so far from fragile. With the way he has coped with 8 years of injections, finger prick blood tests and all the other ‘fun’ things that come with Type 1 Diabetes – strong is the only word to describe him.


He turned thirteen this month and at first I felt a mild panic at the thought of having a teenager and planned a post called ‘Eek I have a teenager’. I don’t feel panicky about having a teenager any more, I just feel grateful that 8 years ago we got him to the hospital in time and he’s here to get a bit stroppy and tell me how embarrassing I am.


Stevie x

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  1. Jo
    1 September 2017 / 4:51 pm

    I have a 4 year old diabetic son and it is a life changing moment. Its nice to know that the future is positive and living in Cornwall is great.

    • 1 September 2017 / 7:38 pm

      It honestly does get so much easier as they get older. My 13 year old is off playing with his friends in the woods near us at the moment, he has all his gear with him and I’m not even stressed worrying about him as he has it sussed. We still have occasional bad days, but they are very rare and even illness doesn’t hit him as hard now. I hope your little one copes well and doesn’t let it hold him back :)

      Stevie x